Tips for Managing Feelings
Talking it Out
Now that you've identified your feelings, what next? There are many approaches to confronting, sharing and dealing with your feelings in productive and positive ways.
It helps to talk out your feelings with others. You could talk with a friend, family member, employment or school counselor, minister, social worker or psychologist – anyone you know and trust.
Let them know you don't want or necessarily need advice. All feelings are valid and acceptable. You just need to have someone listen to you. Ask for constructive feedback if you want it.
Support Groups
If you have a support group or job club in your area, don't hesitate to attend. It can provide you with much needed, nonjudgmental support from others going through the same things.
You may also find valuable tips, job leads and opportunities to network and get new ideas. Visit your Minnesota WorkForce Center or local employment service for dates, times and locations of support groups.
Write a Letter
If you're uncomfortable expressing your feelings, write them down. Write a letter to your former boss, telling her or him exactly how you're feeling. Write down how you're feeling about starting to look for work and the changes it has brought. Don't worry about the content or structure of the letter – because you’re not going to send it.
Writing it down may release some anger you might be experiencing. This will help restore the feeling that you're in control of your life. After you've written the letter, read it aloud and then dispose of it.
You could rip it up into small pieces and then burn it. You could wad it up into a ball, bat it around outside and throw it in the trash. Just do something to get rid of it. A recent study found that people who write about their anger get another job faster than those who don't.
Take a Deep Breath
When you've completed writing your letter(s), sit down with both feet on the floor, close your eyes, take a long, deep breath, picture a peaceful, pleasant place, and then exhale completely. Repeat until you feel relaxed and calm.
Get Some Exercise
Anger is a natural emotion, but it can be destructive. Therefore, we need to recognize it and take steps to control it. One way to handle anger or negative feelings is by doing something physical.
You could go outside and exercise, play basketball, take a vigorous walk, go bowling, play baseball or tennis, workout or clean the house, garage or car. You can decide to walk away from your aggravating situation by doing something else like positive self-talk, counting to 100, diverting your attention or talking to someone.
As you use these positive ways of dealing with your feelings, your anxiety will lessen and your health and mood will improve. You won't be as likely to take things out on your family, friends or pets.
If you feel you can't contain your anger and may hurt yourself or others put your children in a safe place and then call your local crisis center.